Episode 15: Quiet Limits, Loud Peace

Episode 15 – Quiet Limits, Loud Peace
In this calm, heart-to-heart episode, Maxine helps you spot quiet overwhelm—the slow burnout that comes from saying “yes” too often—and guides you to set simple boundaries that protect your time, energy, and peace. Learn how to say “no” with kindness, build balance, and create the Loud Peace your soul’s been craving.

Your Energy Bank Workbook: https://app.typeset.com/play/4E86EE

https://soulfullyaligned.buzzsprout.com

Transcript

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Hey everyone and welcome back to Soulfully Aligned. I would like to thank you for being here with me. I am excited about this particular episode because I need it, and I know that you probably will also need to hear it. This isn't about a big dramatic burnout. Everyone talks about having a major meltdown. This is the other thing. This is the quiet kind. It's the one that builds up day after day as you keep nodding, smiling and saying yes, but inside you know that you are feeling drained. You are running on empty, and yet no one even notices. If you have been feeling that deep fatigue, that slow drain, that quiet overwhelm, then this is our conversation. Today's episode is titled Quiet Limits, loud Peace, and those Quiet Limits. They're the personal boundaries that you set internally before the world demands them externally. It's the gentle, consistent work that saves your energy. And here is the whole point. We are going to be flipping the script. Because saying no is an act of deep self protection. It is the absolute best way that you can prioritize your peace. Take a second with me and breathe in breathe out. Grab that coffee, water, tea, whatever you need while we are listening. Together and figuring this out. In this first section, we are gonna be looking at naming the quiet overwhelm, checking Your Balance. Let's get right into it. Naming this unseen weight that we carry called the Quiet Overwhelm. It is not a single fire. It is a hundred little leaks. That empties the reservoir. It is the moment that you realize you are irritated at tiny things because you have absolutely no emotional margin left. We are going to be using the image of the Energy Bank account throughout this episode, every task, every time you take on a burden. Every minute spent people pleasing. That is what we call a withdrawal, and we have been operating without ever looking at our balances again. Take a slow, deep breath. I exhale. I want you to imagine pulling up your official energy statement look at your life over the last month. Are you genuinely in the black? In other words, do you have margin, extra time, extra patience for the things that are unexpected? Or if you are being honest, are you deep in the red? Are you overdrawn, stressed and barely keeping the lights on? Let's let go off the guilt because you are not failing. You ran out of resources and you know you cannot fix what you refuse to face. Acknowledging that you are overdrawn is the first most powerful act of self-love. Here is a journal prompt for you. Ask yourself, where am I most overdrawn right now? Is it at work? Home in my relationships or my spiritual life. Then I want you to describe the specific feeling of quiet overwhelm in your body, but before you write, let's make this real. If you are in the black, it might look like this. You have time to finish your coffee without rushing. When a friend sends you a text asking for help, you feel genuine curiosity and not resentment, you can handle a sudden change of plans without your whole day collapsing. That is what we call spaciousness. Let's talk about what it looks like when you are in the red. That means that you are constantly snapping at your kids or your partner over very tiny things. You look forward to Friday and it's not because you're excited for the weekend, but it's because you need to emotionally recover. And when your alarm goes off, you, your first thought is about how far you are behind. I want you to give yourself the grace to be honest about which state are you in at the moment. The more clearly you define the problem, it's the faster you can find the solution. My question is, are you in the black or are you in the red? In section two, we are going be taking a look at your body's notifications, the real time statements. Your body is your most honest communication tool. It sends push notice notifications every single day, but what happens is that we have learned to tune them out or put them on silence. Let's look at some of the alerts that your body may be sending to you if you are having tension headaches on a daily basis, those are what we would call low balance alert. The sharp short temper that you have with the people that you love, that is the resentment fee hitting your account, the exhaustion that hits like a wall after a full night's sleep. That is your system screaming. The account is empty. Your body is not trying to punish you in any way, shape or form. It is desperately trying to help you. Let's check in with a full body scan. Close your eyes, soften your jaw, drop your shoulders, and relax your stomach. And I want you to notice where you feel that heaviness or that wired anxiety because that is your truth. Now let's talk about smart spending, because not all withdrawals are bad when you invest in a passion project or caring for a loved one that costs energy. But what it does in return, it gives meaning. The problem is when we keep making withdrawals to keep those around us happy and those exchanges. They only leave us totally empty. By tuning in, you will become the CFO of your own energy because you decide is this request an investment or is it a mindless leak? Here is your journal prompt List your top three deposits. In other words, what truly fills you with energy? And your top three withdrawal, what truly drains you? Then I want you to circle one withdrawal that is costing you the most emotional peace right now if you are struggling to tell the difference here is a simple test. Do you feel physically or emotionally lighter or heavier after the activity? I want you to follow the lightness. For example, going to an event out of obligation is a withdrawal, and that will leave you feeling heavier, spending 15 minutes listening to music you that you love. That is a deposit, and that leaves you feeling lighter. The activity really does not matter. What matters is the feeling that it creates. What I want you to do is to follow what makes you feel lighter. Section three, the Sacred Pause or making micro deposits. What we have done so far is we have faced the balance and we know that it's low. What are we going to do? We are going to start making deposits and the amazing. News is that refilling your account doesn't require a whole week on a vacation. It is all about micro deposits. Tiny, intentional acts that add up over time to give you a big return. It can be 10 seconds here, taking three breaths there. By the end of the day, you have put something back in the tank. Instead of running completely dry, a micro deposit is choosing presence over productivity. It's choosing to take a real lunch break where your phone is out of sight, no work is being done, and you are eating your food. It is taking two minutes to stand outside and feel the sun on your face instead of sitting at your desk scrolling on Facebook or Instagram, this is the practice of the sacred pause. When you feel yourself up, you use this technique. Stop, breathe, choose. Let's look at all three. Stop is literally pausing whatever you are doing for five seconds. Breathe. You're going to inhale through your nose really deeply, and then you're going to exhale through your mouth and you are going to do that three times. Choose. You're going to ask yourself what needs my attention at this moment? And what can genuinely wait until after this sacred pause. Every time you hit pause, you make a powerful deposit, and this is how you're going build margin. Every pause you take is a micro deposit into your future piece. You don't have to wait for payday. You deposit wherever you can. Here is your journal prompt. I want three simple, realistic micro deposits. What is one I can commit to every morning, one every afternoon, and one every evening. I want you to be realistic. Don't pick huge goals like going to the gym or reading a book for an hour, because those will become new sources of guilt when you do not do them. I want you to pick something that's under five minutes that you can do 99% of the time. For example, your morning deposit could be sitting in silence for 90 seconds. While your coffee is brewing without looking at your phone, I want you to keep it tiny and doable. Section four, creating gentle boundaries or setting spending limits. We are making deposits and that's a great thing, but we need to stop the leaks. You would not blind blindly swipe your debit card if you knew it would overdraw your bank account, would you? Why do we say yes to commitments that we know will drain our life force? A boundary is a spending limit for your soul. You wouldn't overdraw your bank account, don't overdraw your emotional one. Now we are going focus on two tangible limits that we can do this week. The first is the time limit or the hard stop, I want you to decide exactly when your tasks must end, and I want you to stick to that time. This is your non-negotiable end time. If someone tries to extend a meeting or request a task after your end time or your hard stop, you politely, clearly decline. This is self-respect and action. Here are some examples. Let's say you're at work and you decide that your hard stop is going to be 5:00 PM. And a coworker walk over to you and say to you one quick thing at 4 55, you say, I am happy to look at that, but I need to stop at 5:00 PM Can we make a note to start fresh on it first thing tomorrow If you are at home? And your non-negotiable family time starts at 6:30 PM Then you are going to put the phone in the de designated charging station at 6:25 PM That's when you are going to physically disconnect. The second focus is called the decision limit or the 24 hour rule. Before you say yes to any new requests. Whether it's volunteering or a social event or a new project mandate, a pause. You need a buffer. Here are some examples. We're going to look at the internal check first, and that is when a request comes in, you don't instantly reply to it. You pause and you ask yourself, if I say yes to this. What deposit will I have to cancel to cover the withdrawal? If the answer is my sleep or my quiet time, then that answer is going to be no. Let's take a look at the external script. When asked you say, that sounds interesting. I need to check my schedule or my energy levels. And I'll get back to you in 24 hours. This buffer allows you to check your energy account before you make the commitment. We must practice to say no in a gentle way because when we practice this script, I want you to notice that it is kind, but it's also clear. Boundaries tend to create clarity. They ensure that what you give comes from generosity and not resentment. Your journal prompt what's one specific energy withdrawal. It can be a person, a task, or an obligation that I can decline or set a limit on this week. I want you to write down the exact words that you will use when the opportunity arises. I want us to confront the fear. Who are you most afraid of disappointing. Write that name down. I want you to practice saying the boundary script that you just wrote out loud. I want you to imagine that person is standing in front of you, and then I want you to say it until it feels powerful and true and not apologetic, because that practice is going to build your confidence. Section five is the renewal and reinvestment. In other words, you're growing your balance. We spend all this time talking about the quiet overwhelm that slow, hidden drain. We are going move to the powerful opposite called loud peace. Loud peace is not quiet, nor is it passive. It is powerful. It is the direct, undeniable calm that results from actively protecting your energy. And set in sacred boundaries. It is the feeling that you get when your life finally fits again because you made room for yourself loud peace can look and feel like this. It's clarity and not chaos. What do that you are no longer living in brain fog. You know what your priorities are. And you can make decisions quickly because you are operating from a full tank. The next is present and not pressure, and that is eating dinner and genuinely tasting your food, not thinking about the 15 emails that you still need to answer. It is being here and now. The third is called connection, not resentment. You can love and serve the people in your life without that nasty sting of feeling resentment. Because your given is coming from a place of fullness and not forced obligations. You create this new foundation by making one ritual your daily act of replenishment. You build this by deciding on one thing, one daily non-negotiable moment that you commit to doing every single day to fill your tank. Ask yourself, what is the one thing that guarantees me a net positive return on investment every single day? It needs to be something that you do for yourself. And not to yourself. Close your eyes and picture the version of you who is no longer living in overdraft. What does she look like? Is she moving slower? Is she speaking to herself with kindness and respect? Because I can guarantee you that version of you is waiting. Here is a closing mantra for you, and I want you to be able to say this with conviction. My energy is valuable. I choose deposits that nourish me and boundaries that protect me. I am building loud peace. And here is your final journal prompt. What is my very first deposit after this episode? Something I can do in the next 30 minutes to top off my account. I want it to be simple, immediate, and sacred first. This isn't about the next 30 minutes, it's about the person that you are becoming. When you look at the version of who. You who has loud peace, how does she think differently? Go ahead and write down one belief that she has that you don't yet have. For example, my worth is not tied to my output. Next, I want you to make your final deposit sensory. In other words, what will you smell? What will you hear? What will you feel? Plan to focus on the sweet common scent of your favorite candle. Or you could step outside and feel the grass beneath your feet for one full minute. But I want you to engage your body in the deposit to make the piece immediate. We have come to the end of our journey for season one, but do not despair. Season two will be coming out on November 10th. This entire season has been about finding your foundation. We dove into the tough stuff. We named people pleasing. We defined confidence and we faced burnout, and we learned that boundaries are sacred. The core lesson from this season is this, healing happens every time you choose yourself. You deserve a life that feels good on the inside, but don't worry, I promise you this is not goodbye. If season one was about protecting your peace. Season two is about finding your voice and walking boldly into who you truly are. We are going to talk about what it means to step fully into your light, to shed the need to hide your gifts and to walk forward with unshakeable confidence in who you were created to be. This next season is going to be real, raw and deeply freeing. And remember, quiet overwhelm does not get the last word you do. Choose loud peace by protecting your limits. See you soon.