Episode 6: Boundary Work Isn't Selfish- Its Sacred.

✨ Free Resource: Download your free Personal Boundary Plan → https://app.typeset.com/play/9RQ8QV

Boundaries aren’t rejection — they’re protection.
 They protect your peace, your energy, and your ability to show up fully for what matters most.
 This week, we’re reframing boundaries as a sacred act of self-respect.

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Transcript

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Hi, and welcome to Soulfully Aligned episode six. Take a deep breath with me in through your nose and slowly out through your mouth again. But this time I want you to soften your shoulders, un clench your jaw, and let the tension melt out of your body like you've been holding it together for far too long. Now, just for a moment, I want you to imagine that nothing is expected of you. No one needs you to say yes, to perform, to hold it together. There is no role to play here. No mask. Just you breathe in. Welcome to Soulfully Aligned. You have found a soft landing for your truth. Tonight's episode is titled Boundary Work is Not Selfish. It's Sacred, and I want you to know this isn't just another podcast, it's a homecoming for the woman who feels invisible in inside her own life, for the one who wants to rest but doesn't know how to stop. For the one who hears, just say No. Feels the knot in her chest tightening with guilt and fear. You are not broken. You were taught to survive, but now your spirit is whispering. It's time to come home to yourself. This space is for you. Maybe for the first time in a long time. You get to show up without the armor. Just your breath, your soul. Your whole self exactly as you are. So light a candle, pour some teeth and wrap yourself in the blanket. And let's begin. Let's honor your breath. Your yes, your no. Let's reclaim your sacred space. And most importantly, let's reconnect to the version of you that's been weighted patiently. To come back home. Part one. The cost of saying yes when you mean no. Let's start with something tender a truth. We often keep tucked behind polite smiles and overfilled calendars. How often do you say yes when every part of you is whispering? No, not out of joy. Not because it aligns, but because you are afraid of disappointing someone, of being seen as difficult, of being labeled unkind. I have been there. I have said yes with a smile and a heavy heart. I have said yes while already feeling the resentment creeping. I have said yes because I didn't know how to say anything else. And I want you to know that is not failure, that's survival. Somewhere along the line, many of us were taught that our worth lives in our willingness, that our love means being available. That goodness means being agreeable. And so we shift, we stretch, we say yes when we're exhausted. We say yes. When our soul says no, we say yes until there's nothing left of us, but a hollow echo of who we used to be and the cost. The cost is quiet but deep. It's the chronic fatigue that you explain. It's the irr, irritability. You try to pray away. It's the tears that fall on your pillow. When no one's watching, it's the sleep that never really feels restful. It's the version of you that begins to disappear behind the needs of everyone else. Let me ask you, where in your life are you saying yes, even though it feels like a no in your body? Who taught you that your no makes you unlovable? What part of you is still afraid that your boundaries will push people away when really they might just bring you back to yourself? I want you to pause here, not to judge yourself, but to witness yourself to notice the moments where you are override your own truth out of habit. Maybe it's that coworker who always asks for a favor. Maybe it's your family expecting you to be the dependable one. Maybe it's your friend group where you've always been the one who shows up no matter what, but my love. What about you? Who shows up for you when you're tired? Who says take a break? When you've been carrying the load too long? Who gives you permission to pause? I want that person to be you because every time you say yes, out of obligation, you are putting a pin in your own needs and too many pins in the soul. That's how we deflate. You are not here to perform. You are not here to carry it all. You are not here to be agreeable at the cost of being alive. You are here to be whole. So here's your gentle reminder. Your no is holy. Your energy is sacred, and your peace is worth protecting, even if it makes other people uncomfortable. Let this be the beginning of your boundary work, not with hang anger, not with defensiveness, but with deep self respect. With softness, with clarity. You are not saying no because you don't care. You are saying no because you matter too. Part two, a story of shrinking. There was a season in my life when I wore my strength as though it was an armor, not the kind of strength that comes from feeling grounded. But the kind that came from never letting myself fall apart, I said yes to things I didn't have the capacity for. I made space for people who wouldn't have done the same for me. I swallowed my discomfort because I didn't want to be too much, and I smiled even when my spirit was aching. Why? Because deep down. I believed that being lovable meant being useful. That if I was the dependable one, the helper, the fixer, the one who always had it together, then maybe I'd be safe. Then maybe I wouldn't be left, then maybe I'd finally be seen. But the truth is all that performing, all that pleasing. All that shrinking. It didn't make me safe. It made me invisible. I remember the moment I had just finished running errands for someone saying yes to a project I didn't want committing to something I had no space for, and I came home, sat on my sofa hand in my head. I just went quiet. No tears at first, just stillness, empt, nest, and exhaustion. And then this question rose up inside of me. It was like I was whispering to myself. It's a question I had been trying not to hear for so many years, and that question was, what about me? That question awakened everything. I realized I had become everything for everyone except myself. I had learned how to be pleasing, but not peaceful. I had learned how to be present, but not authentic. I had learned how to survive, but not how to be free. Maybe you two have felt that maybe you've worn the mask so long that it started to feel like your face. Maybe you've been applauded for being the strong one, but inside you're silently begging to be held. Let me tell you something. I wish someone had told me you are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to have needs. You are allowed to be the fullest, loudest, realest version of yourself, even if that disrupts what others expect from you. Shrinking doesn't make you lovable. It makes you lost. But boundaries, boundaries are how you come home. So today, if nothing else. Let this be your permission slip to stop shrinking, to start speaking, to set the boundary, to say no, to say yes to yourself because you are not a burden. You are a blessing, and the world needs the whole you, not just the version that makes others comfortable. Part Three, sacred Boundaries as self-worth. Boundaries are not restrictions. They are revelations. They reveal where we have been overextended, where we have tolerated too much, where we have made ourselves small for the sake of someone else's comfort. They also reveal where our truth, power lies. In our voice, our discernment, our decision to protect what's holy ourselves. When you begin to set boundaries, you start to hear your true self again. You start to notice when your spirit contracts, you start to feel when something doesn't sit right, you stop brushing off the tension in your chest or the lump in your throat. And here's the shift. Instead of overriding those signals, you start to honor them. That's sacred work. Boundary work is sacred because it is a practice of worth worthiness, not perfection, not performance, but worthiness. And yes, I know it's uncomfortable, you'll ask yourself. You'll hear the voices from your past. You're selfish. You're too much. Why can't you just go with the flow? But I'm here to remind you their discomfort is not your responsibility. So I want you to ask yourself, where in my life am I tolerating what no longer honors me? What relationships would shift? If I started telling the truth, how would my body feel if I stopped abandoning it in favor of being liked? When you begin this work, you are going to grieve. You will feel the ache of all the times you remain silent, but eventually you'll feel free. Free of alignment. Of only saying yes to what feeds your soul. You are not too much. You are not selfish, you are sacred, and your boundaries are the evidence. Let that truth settle in your bones. Part four, the spiritual side of boundaries. My sister. Your spirit wasn't made for burnout. Your soul was not made to hustle for love because even God rested, even the most sacred beings withdrew when they were depleted. They made space for stillness. They honored their limits. So why not you to set boundaries is to honor the divine in you to say. This is my limit is to say, this is where I begin. Your rest is not laziness. Your silence is not avoidance. Your no is not rejection. It is sacred space for your healing. Your boundary might sound like a deep breath before responding. It might look like stepping away from chaos. It might be the pause that saves your soul from slipping into performance mode once more. You are not called for protecting your peace. You are not distanced for reclaiming your energy. You are a temple, and temples don't open for everyone all the time. They open with intention and with reverence. I want you to let your life reflect that part five. In this part, we're gonna look at some reflective questions. So now let's slow down and listen, because these questions are not for you to rush through. They are sacred pauses that are meant to bring you face to face with your own truth. I invite you to journal them. Speak them aloud or even sit with one question a day for the rest of the week. Let them open something inside you. Now let's slow down and listen. Where am I betraying myself to keep the peace. I want you to take a moment with this one. Close your eyes. Where are you saying yes? Out of fear or guilt? Where are you silencing your truth? To avoid conflict, let your body answer before your mind does trust what rises. This is a moment of honesty, not judgment. Question two, what parts of me have I list silence to feel loved or accepted? Think about the roles that you have played. The good girl, the fixer, the strong one. What parts of you have you been putting on mute to make others feel more comfortable? I want you to breathe into those silent parts and give them voice again, you are safe to name them. Question three, when someone crosses a boundary. How do I react and how would I like to respond? Instead, I want you to notice your patterns. Do you shut down? Do you become quiet? Do you tend to overexplain? What would it feel like to respond from self-trust instead of self-doubt? I want you to go ahead and speak to the woman that you're becoming. Write out your power empowered responses, the one your future self would be proud of. Question four, what old belief is keeping me stuck in over given who gave it to me? This question goes very deep. Was it apparent? A culture, a religion, a community? And what did that belief cost you? Go ahead and name it. Then honor it. Ask yourself, is this belief still true or is it just familiar? You get to release what no longer serves your becoming. Question five, what would it feel like to live a life where my no is honored? And my yes is sacred. Imagine waking up each day knowing you are not obligated to explain yourself that your yes comes from fullness and not pressure. Let your journal become the vision board of this future. How does your body feel in that world? What changes when your choices are respected? Question six. If I gave myself full permission to rest and retreat, what would I reclaim? Think about what burnout has cost you. What would you regain if rest was your rhythm instead of your reward? What part of your spirit needs space in order to breathe? Again, I want you to write from that place, remember? Rest is not laziness. It's just you are remembering the final question. Question seven, what version of me is ready to emerge and what will she no longer tolerate? So close your eyes and picture her, the woman who doesn't flinch at disappointing others. The woman who stands rooted in her truth. What does she wear? Think, say, believe, and what boundaries does she protect without apology? I want you to write her a letter. I want you to let her speak through your pen. Now, pause and reflect because you are allowed to outgrow the version of you that said yes to everything. You are allowed to evolve. These questions are just a doorway into the woman that you are becoming. So we want, I wanna take a look at some spoken affirmation for the woman who's been holding too much. I know you've been carrying more than you say out loud. I know what it's like to say, you know what, I'm fine. A smile when really inside you are unraveling. I know how it feels to be needed by everyone. Yet nourished by no one to be the strong one, the dependable one, the one who always shows up even when your soul is whispering. I can't do this anymore, so let me speak this over you, not just as a coach. But as a woman who's been where you are, I give myself permission to stop performing. I release the guilt I've carried for choosing me. I am allowed to be a whole woman with needs, emotions, limits, and dreams. I do not owe anyone my silence just to keep the peace. I am not a bad person for needed rest. I am not selfish for need in my space. I am no longer betraying myself just to be loved. I have spent too long shrinking to be digestible, and now I choose to expand with grace, with truth, with power. So go ahead and let this truth wash over you. My boundaries are not rejection. They are resurrection. They are how I come back to life. They are how I return to my sacred self. So love, take a breath. You are not too much. You have just been given too much to the wrong things. It's time for you to come home. You are worthy. You are whole, and you my love. You are free. But before we close, I want you to know that you don't have to walk this path alone because you were never meant to. So if something stirred in your spirit, if you felt seen, softened, or strengthened by this message, then come on over. Join us inside the Soulfully Aligned Facebook group. It's a sacred space for women like you who is tired of shrinking and ready to rise in that space. We rest, we heal, and we remember inside that space you'll find women walking through the same questions. You'll find warmth, truth, and conversations. That feel like a deep exhale, you will find reminders that you are not the only one, and you will remember. You are not behind, you are becoming because boundary work, it is not selfish, it's sacred, it's spiritual, it's necessary, and most importantly, it is yours. So until next time. Be gentle with yourself because you are sacred. You are seen, and you my love. You are so deeply worthy. Thank you so much for joining me with Love. I am Coach Max.